A funny condom is the gift that gets opened in front of everyone, gets a laugh, and gets remembered long after the wine has run out. Stocking filler, Secret Santa, stag or hen party, or a cheeky nudge to a partner who has everything: the trick is matching the joke to the person. Here are our favourite designs, grouped by the kind of humour they land best with, so you can pick one in about a minute.
How to pick in 60 seconds
- Match the humour, not the occasion. A British-banter fan and a filthy-pun fan want very different cards on the wrapper.
- Mix and match. You can build a set of any six designs, so there is no need to commit to one joke.
- Make it about them. For an inside joke or a name, design your own beats anything off the shelf.
- They actually work. Every design is a real, CE and ISO 4074 certified condom, printed in London. The gag is on the wrapper, not the protection.
Best for the British-banter lover
For the friend who quotes sitcoms, loves a seaside postcard joke, and thinks nothing is funnier than a good double entendre about London landmarks.
- See Big Ben – the classic tourist-trap innuendo.
- The Union Jack – patriotic, in the cheekiest way possible.
- Full English Breakfast – the most British morning-after joke there is.
- Come Carry On – pure seaside-postcard energy.
- Mr. Bean – for the parody fan who likes it daft.
Best for the pun and food-pun fiend
For the one who cannot resist a groan-worthy play on words, especially if it involves something on a menu.
- Eat My Baguette – a Frenchman’s finest innuendo.
- Lick My Gelato – dolce, and very much vita.
- Try My Wine – for the connoisseur with a dirty mind.
- Champagne For Everyone – celebratory and generous.
- Milk – short, daft, and somehow the funniest of the lot.
Best for the pop-culture obsessive
For the one whose whole personality is film quotes and band trivia. These are affectionate parodies, not official merchandise, which is exactly why they land.
- It’s One Direction – the boy-band gag that keeps on giving.
- Borat – very nice, great success.
- Darth Vader Father – the dad-joke, weaponised.
- The Stormtrooper Father – for the sci-fi fan who misses nothing.
- Quagmire – giggity, and not much else needs saying.
Best for the no-filter friend
For the one who says the quiet part out loud and would be disappointed by anything subtle. Handle with care.
- Well Hello Titty – the not-so-innocent cartoon riff.
- Suck You Dry – subtlety has left the building.
- My Big Load – confidence on a wrapper.
- Orgasm Donor – generous to a fault.
- Save A Virgin – a charitable cause, of sorts.
Best for an inside joke: design your own
The funniest gift is the one only the two of you understand. Put a name, a nickname, a private joke, or a terrible photo on the wrapper with Design Your Own. You build it in the browser, see a live preview, and we print it in London. Minimum is six, so a personalised set costs about the price of a round.
Buying for a party? Read these first
If the gift is for a stag or hen weekend rather than one person, there are pages built for exactly that, with party-bag quantities and the option to put the bride or groom’s name on one.
How to gift them without it being awkward
- Lean into the joke. A funny condom is a card, not a hint. Pair it with a real present and it reads as playful, not pointed.
- Build a themed set of six. All food puns, all British banter, all film gags: a curated set is funnier than a single random design.
- Personalise the punchline. A name or an inside joke turns a five-second laugh into something they keep.
- Mind the recipient. The no-filter designs are perfect for some people and a fast way to ruin a Sunday lunch for others. Choose accordingly.
Whatever the sense of humour, there is a wrapper for it. Start with the full funny range, or make your own if the joke needs to be personal.