Description
“I WILL NOT BE YOUR FATHER” is set across a white-helmeted soldier in moulded armour, one gloved finger raised as if correcting the record.
What is on the wrapper?
A trooper in white segmented armour with a black-visored helmet, arm lifted and index finger extended in a lecturing gesture, cut out against the bare foil. I WILL NOT BE in grey and black above, YOUR FATHER in black below. The junior-ranking version of the same paternity joke, kept unnamed.
Is it a real condom?
Yes. Underneath the printing it is a fully certified condom: CE marked, ISO 4074, 52mm nominal width (±2mm), 180mm-plus, with a 4 to 5 year shelf life. Nothing about the joke touches the latex. Kissy Bang Bang has been printing wrappers like this in London since 2007.
When to hand it out
Stag nights, film-night party bags, and Secret Santa. The third of the trio with I Will Not Be Your Father and Seen My Helmet?, and usually bought alongside them.
Ordering
From six pieces at £1.66 each, mixed however you like across the funny designs. Printed in London, posted discreetly, no branding on the outer. Next-day delivery £3.80.
