Description
“Just a Knob” is written under a crumpet with a large square of butter melting into the holes and running down the side.
What is on the wrapper?
A thick golden crumpet shown from above and slightly to the side, its surface pitted with holes, topped by a pat of butter half-melted with a yellow stream pouring off the edge. Flowing script underneath. Standard British tea-time vocabulary, used entirely straight.
Is it a real condom?
Yes. Same certification you would expect off a pharmacy shelf — CE marked, ISO 4074, 52mm nominal width (±2mm), over 180mm long, 4 to 5 year shelf life. The printing is the only thing that changes. Made by Kissy Bang Bang, a London printer of funny condoms since 2007.
When to hand it out
Stag weekends, Father’s Day, café and deli retail, and Secret Santa. The gentlest of the British food jokes and one of the most quotable.
Ordering
From six pieces at £1.66 each, mixed however you like across the funny designs. Printed in London, posted discreetly, no branding on the outer. Next-day delivery £3.80.
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