Description

“YOU SHALL NOT PASS” is set beside a small round black character planting a lit staff in the ground, facing down a queue of cartoon swimmers who are not getting through.

What is on the wrapper?

A stubby black cartoon figure with angry eyes and little legs, gripping a torch with a bright yellow flame, impact lines bursting behind it. To the right, three tadpole-shaped cartoon sperm approach and stop. YOU SHALL in yellow, NOT PASS in red, both heavily outlined. A famous line from a fantasy standoff, repurposed for the one job this product actually does.

Is it a real condom?

Yes. Same certification you would expect off a pharmacy shelf — CE marked, ISO 4074, 52mm nominal width (±2mm), over 180mm long, 4 to 5 year shelf life. The printing is the only thing that changes. A Kissy Bang Bang design, printed in London where the brand has run since 2007.

When to hand it out

Stag nights, Secret Santa, film-night party bags, and gifts for anyone who quotes that line unprompted. The clearest ‘what this is for’ joke in the whole range.